Marriage! For the record!🎤🎤🎤
Written by Mrs Maria Onyia
I belong to a particular women’s group where marriage issues are discussed frequently. Many times I have advised women to do the following in addition to “loving unconditionally”
1. Have a life while alive
2. Empower yourself
3. Stand up and be heard and seen
4. Fight back when necessary
5. Leave rather then die in the marriage
I am NOT an advocate of “ We Die Hier” because usually the one person that dies first is the woman. When it has to do with women, I am mostly, unapologetically biased. I am a woman after all, I know what it means to be a woman, and I have seen women suffer and die from pain and heartbreak. NO woman should be tortured at any point and certainly not in marriage. In fact some men should not be married. Period! That is my stand!
Anyway, I posted a message on my 25th traditional marriage anniversary (we never do wedding yet) Then, a woman from the group who is a FB contact sent me message that reads thus…
“Hello sister Maria, I can’t believe you are married not to talk of being married for almost 25 years. You don’t sound like you are married. Is your husband not human like other husbands? Unbelievable! Congrats”
Truth is most people on that page will have same sentiments. 🤣🤣
How do married people sound? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am NOT a role model for a good wife. Mbaaaaa! I am not at all. (though Chidi thinks I am beyond human) I did not set out to be one either. However, I know I am a good hearted, crazy, funny, kind, fun loving, peace loving, hardworking human with plenty faults/flaws, who looked for a funny, kind, caring, playful, responsible friend for a husband. Someone who will be nice to me, make me laugh, treat me like a Princess and make me priority. My childhood was confusing to put it mildly so I needed a particular kind of guy.
Also, I had read almost every Mills and Boon story at 20 (my aunty was a collector) and wanted the M&B kinda guy. Nobody told me it was fiction at the time. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
My husband Chidosky, (the distinguished and super brilliant Prof) is a mature, very mature, fatherly-level mature, me-indulging, me-crazy, me-accommodating, me-supporting, me-entertaining, me-pursuing me-condoning me-vexing guy with FLAWS too. We PLAY and we WAR but the guy is determined to stay married to moi and do whatever it takes to make me happy 🤷🏻♀️🤣
So YES I am still married. 🤣🤣🤣
However, I insist that the group of men listed below should NOT touch people’s daughters….
1. Chronic physically, mentally and emotionally abusive men
2. Purpose Killers
3. Unapologetic broke/lazy uncaring womanizers
6. Ungodly and “ungoodly” 🤣men
From such, I will forever say, pack your load, run and wait in a different accommodation till they repent.
For all other symptoms, please apply necessary medications starting with prayers, counseling, accommodations, modifications, reinforcement etc. There are not many perfect humans, you probably ain’t perfect yourself, so have a conscience. Above all, the master potter can remake that piece into your ideal person or make you love the “trouble” you have as spouse.
If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask me for advise biko. I am human and if you ask me question, you will get a human response. I can’t advise you to stay and pray when you have just told me your husband is a pedophile or ritualist or tried to stab you. Noooooooooooo! Go and pray from afar.
It is for this reason I refuse any invite to speak (lie) publicly on marriage related issues and encourage women to romance clearly evil men in the name of marriage.
Do not die in marriage. Live and enjoy marriage. Like my dearest Dr. Ebere said at the LifeHer conference (2nd edition loading) It is a union of the flesh not soul and spirit. You are the temple of God, please do not litter yourself or your children with “mean and evil men”
Don’t die dier biko, there is no award for that! Live dier!
Maria R Onyia
Still Married! 🤣🤣🤣